


home is not a place (but where you are)

by palekwami (angstyfanboi)



Series: and in silence comes the storm [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Feels, Canon Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt, Feelings, Kinda, M/M, Mutual Pining, One Shot, Pining gays of course, Requited Love, Sad, SasuNaru Day, Sasuke wants to avenge his family, and Naruto wants Sasuke to stay with him, first fight at the valley of the end but make it worse(?) better(?), letting go, no beta we die like the uchiha clan, so canon basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:34:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26219449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstyfanboi/pseuds/palekwami
Summary: Naruto doesn’t have a home, but he knows what it means, knows what it takes, knows— even if he rather pretend he doesn’t— that you can’t stay inside your whole life, that you can’t close the doors and pretend the world resumes itself to that narrow space. And it hurts, because saying “there is love in letting go” when all he’s ever loved left him, is like giving and losing and never getting anything in return.But he lets Sasuke go.He trusts him to find his way home.
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Series: and in silence comes the storm [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2186943
Comments: 6
Kudos: 57





	home is not a place (but where you are)

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who's on Sasunaru hell, again. It's my brand to bring angst so here it is, I blame Aurora.
> 
> Remember that I accept constructive criticism but any hate comments will be deleted!
> 
> Follow me on Twitter [HERE](https://twitter.com/taxianjuwun)

The sky is tainted gray with clouds and grief, and it rains, it pours, and his face is so incredibly cold and wet Sasuke has trouble discerning what part is from the weather and what part belongs to _this_ : to Naruto on the floor, eyes closed, _defeated_. He’s too quiet like this, too unmoving, too part of the weather embracing them, too _Sasuke_.

Sasuke’s heart is burning, like the flame his clan— his _dead_ clan, his _gone_ clan, his _murdered_ clan, the moving force taking him by the neck and saying _‘avenge us, kill Itachi and wipe the ashes away’_ — takes, _took_ , much pride in, and every beating feels like it’s sending him into a spiral, close to bursting and letting behind his blood as a memento.

It hurts. He didn’t think many things would hurt this much, after watching his whole family slaughtered like cater.

But it does and he _hates it_. Hates that he wants to stay behind, to gather Naruto on his arms and brush a kiss against his temple and whisper, quietly, softly ‘I’ll stay, I won’t leave too’.

Yet…

_Yet…_

Can he really? After years of holding onto this goal and fighting for it at every chance but never getting closer to it, can he really look the other way and forget everything that has been holding him together? After years of trying to find a clue and be stronger, stronger than life ( _stronger than Death)_ can he really turn a blind eye and pretend these past few years didn’t happen? Pretend all is well in the world and he’s _okay_? Pretend he’s not being finally, _finally_ , given a way to fight back?

Naruto opens his eyes and they’re cloudy. He blinks a few times slowly and his breathing is labored. _At least he’s breathing_ , he thinks half bitter half exhilarated, _at least I didn’t kill him_.

He’s never learned how to forgive and forget. This will be no different. He’ll take this loss and victory and wear them on his armor.

He’s too weak but this time he’ll take pride in it.

“Sa… Sasuke?” His voice is so, _so_ quiet. So broken and hollow. Yet louder than he’s ever been— and he has always been _loud_. Louder like all the thunders ringing afar are right on top of them, leaving them standing in the eye of the storm.

He doesn’t answer him. Sobs thrum under his skin though he dares not show them. Who knows what Naruto would do if he showed some more weakness.

( _Even if he knows the truth. Even if he knows Naruto better than he knows himself and is sure he’d never use a weakness to his advantage even if it could save his life. Forever a too trusting fool._ )

When Naruto’s hand touches his cheek he only flinches away for a second, when his head gets particularly mocking and he’s told how much he’s done wrong and how little he deserves to share this private moment with Naruto after he just tried to kill him. But the cool fingers brush down his cheek with a smooth reverence, showing no disgust nor fear, and he ends up settling, closing his eyes to feel the shivers on his spine and the calluses on the tips of Naruto’s fingers as he follows the path of a tear.

Sky’s or his, he can’t tell and is too nervous to try to know.

“Stay… Please stay.”

But can he? Is there anything left for him other than this fragile seed he just tried to drown?

Sasuke doesn’t choke the words out even when they pierce him inside out, even when he can feel them on the tip of his tongue, about to leave. Yet unlike him, they never do.

He presses their foreheads together, his own hand finding the scarred tissue of Naruto’s skin and brushing the whisker-like marks with the pad of his thumb, keeping the dying warmth and cradling it to his chest. The only thing he wants to do, despite _knowing_ he doesn’t deserve it, is to save this moment, protect it from power-starved murderers and memories of bloody nights.

But can he? Is there anything left for him in this valley he just tried to taint crimson?

Something must have shifted in his expression, because Naruto’s half-lidded eyes are suddenly urgent, frantic as his hand falls from Sasuke’s face to grip his wrist; and he pulls him so fast Sasuke wasn’t expecting it, and only realizes what happened when Naruto is sitting over his waist, locking both his arms with his hands balled to fists around his wrists. Sasuke notices the place where they touch is searing and wonders if Naruto feels it too.

He hopes he does. He hopes both of them are left with a burned mark on their skin so even if they part— even _when_ he leaves— at least they’ll have something to remind them both of this moment, when not even the rain was enough to kill the fire burning between them.

“I won’t let you leave.” Naruto snarls from above. His hair is sticking to his skin, drenched, and he shivers on top of him as the grip tightens around his wrists. That too will leave a mark and that too doesn’t seem to concern Sasuke. Bruises mean it happened, bruises mean it’s real. The marks on his knees— childhood bruises— , the marks on his back— to protect what really matters—, the mark on his neck— to get revenge for the ghosts that watch over him. All of them remind them of his goals, of where he is right now and where he wants to go.

( _All he really wants is to find home. Even if the door is looking at him, pained and broken, there is still a long way to go before he finds the key._ )

Sasuke breathes against the crushing pain on his ribs— during the fight he must’ve broken one or two but it’s nothing he can’t manage— and past the knot on his throat that makes him feel caged. He doesn’t try to leave, not for now, not yet.

“Why do you need to go? Aren’t we enough for you? Aren’t _I_ enough for you? What does he have for you that we don’t?!”

The wind blows, the thunders unravel. Sasuke cries, silently, freezing and pained and lost and still _burning burning burning._ Naruto cries too, ugly and raw, back heaving with sobs and grip softening for a second before he clutches with the same strength again, _desperate desperate desperate_.

He doesn’t speak for a while. He _can’t_ speak, even if he knows Naruto needs to hear something, anything to soothe him. He was never good with words and if he never cared before, now he hates it so passionately his jaw hurts from being clenched too hard.

“I… I need to go.” He admits, after a while. Naruto doesn’t hear him, or ignores him if he does, and Sasuke speaks louder this time, even though his words brim with affection and grief and it’s impossible to miss any of it, “Naruto, I _need_ to do this.”

It makes Naruto cry harder. Every tear that falls makes Sasuke hate himself all over again but… but this is what needs to be done, this is what _he_ needs.

Naruto lets go and collapses against his chest. A martyr standing for too long. There is nothing weak in the way he curls his fingers around the fabric of Sasuke’s shirt, staining his wet clothes with warm tears; there is nothing weak in the way Sasuke replies by wrapping one of his arms around Naruto’s waist and cradling his head with his free hand, brushing the curls and knots with fingers so gentle they’re but a lullaby.

They don’t know how long it passes. The rain doesn’t stop and no one runs their way to bring Sasuke back to the graveyard he just left. Naruto doesn’t cry as much but still clings to Sasuke like a little child, and the way Sasuke realizes Naruto never had that chance before has him seething and seeing red for a moment.

His head is too clouded by rage to think about what he’s saying.

“Come with me.”

He feels Naruto tense in his arms, but he doesn’t try to leave. He _must_ be able to feel Sasuke’s heart thundering against his ear, where it’s pressed against his chest, he _must_ be.

And Naruto…

Naruto is homeless. Always has been.

But Konoha is the closest thing to home he’ll ever have. The shops that he’s not allowed to enter, the decrepit building he lives in, the alleys he walks through with one hand curled and ready to defend himself, the faces of glorious leaders that one day will look at his own and say: ‘you did it, you came from nothing and now you have everything’. All of it is familiar in the midst of so unfamiliar faces. All of it makes him feel like maybe he belongs.

Like maybe he won’t belong anywhere else.

The silence stretches for too long. Sasuke seems to sink and deflect, and his hand gets lighter and lighter on his hair, until the touch fades. He’s about to risk a look to see the expression on Sasuke’s face, see if he needs to brace himself, when he feels a kiss light against the crown of his head that makes him freeze. His heart races so fast he swallows dry for good measure, in case it’s trying to escape.

It feels like solace, but they’re soldiers, aren’t they? What peace can soldiers find when locking swords with war? What peace can last on a bloodstained field?

Sasuke sits up, never once letting go of Naruto’s waist, and adjusts their position so they’re both comfortable. All around them there’s a world too big for children pushed to grow too fast, but if only they can stay like this, embracing each other like there’s no ending…

But then again: peace is an ephemeral mirage, a fool’s gold.

Pretending there’s no tomorrow won’t stop the sun from rising.

With a heavy heart but a heavier _something_ — respect seems too little, love seems too scary, and Naruto never received much of either _even if_ he gave both in immeasurable quantities— Naruto _understands_. He’s denied it for too long. He’s been dragging the inevitable. Delaying something that has been decided and written down in stone.

So he has to _let go_. The things that are his will find their way back, won’t they?

He takes a shuddering breath and looks at Sasuke, who has red eyes from crying and pursed lips like he doesn’t know what to expect. At Sasuke, who doesn’t try to be bitter and sarcastic, that doesn’t try to run and hide his vulnerability. At Sasuke, who just… stares back. 

_Fuck._

Looking at him makes it all worse but it also puts things into perspective. How Sasuke has never been in Konoha, not wholly, even if his body moved in the streets, he seemed more ghostly than corporeal, leaving Naruto to wonder if a brisker breeze would take the memory of him away.

But now, even crying and bruised and lost, he seems _present_. He seems _alive_.

What right does Naruto have to stop him?

All that’s left for him to do is to smile.

So he does.

“Don’t forget to come home, okay?” It seems to frighten Sasuke, probably because he wasn’t expecting the words ( _or because at that moment, with arms full of Naruto and words that ring like a storm despite their quietness, he seems to realize the depth is far greater than what meets the eye_ ).

Still smiling, still crying, Naruto pushes a lock of inky hair away from his eyes, and holds his face in between his both hands, like he’s holding something precious, something irreplaceable.

( _He is._ )

_Don’t forget to come back to me, okay?_


End file.
